Three Under Three with a Newborn

This is a post from the archives. I was asked again about the post partum stage of life. There is are a couple of things that I would add to this. Read through, I'll put it at the bottom. And then I'd like to hear what other moms would advise for the post partum.

3 Under 3 with a newborn



This is the most physically exhausting time period of your life. I have had 3 under 3 and that was really rough and I had big kids! Before that, without help, I had 3 under 4 and that was my roughest time ever. To top it off, I baby sat also. Was that crazy or what? And then I grew a monstrous market garden with my sil, went to Farmer’s Market twice a week, and we canned and froze like crazy. The baby was 6-12 mos old during that stretch. Anyway, I know what you’re talking about.


You have a newborn right now, that baby will settle into a routine soon. The newborn period is always a bit hectic. I make it a policy to have the whole crew stick to the schedule like glue. That’s the key to keeping everyone peaceful, routine routine routine. Children thrive on routine and structure. They like to know what is going to happen next and what is expected of them. They like to know where the boundaries are. Even with a schedule there are enough variances and interruptions that it’s crazy even with a schedule! Make sure they take naps and lay down with them. Go to bed early. Do whatever you can to get that sleep. Cut out anything in your life that detracts from you getting sleep, adequate nutrition, and same for your children. If you have them in playgroups or some such that messes up their eating and sleeping, then drop out for 6 months then re-evaluate.


Have dh bring home some boxes and box up clutter. You can sort through it later when the baby is bigger. Just get the clutter out of the way so that the house is easy to pick up and clean. You and the children should be able to get the house picked up in 10 minutes or less. If it takes longer, you have too much stuff. Get rid of all toys that they don’t play with. You and they do not need to pick them up.


Take your children along with you in all of your work. If you’re in the kitchen put them at the table or the sink. They can play with a bowl of rice or beans and spoons or “wash dishes” then give them a rag to mop the floor from the water they spilled.


Try what I did on vacation: each child had 3 outfits and we did a load of wash every morning and every night. Box up the rest of the clothes and set aside til later. If you’re behind on the laundry then kill that beast at the laundry mat with dh to help. Just get it over with. With 3 under 3 and a newborn you need to take it easy on yourself and make your life simple.


This is also the time to resort to paper plates, plastic dinnerware, paper napkins, paper towels, etc. This is cheaper than a housecleaner! Those who know me well, know that I hate paper and plastic, but I am flexible. There is a time and place for disposable and this is one of those times. Keep things as simple as possible. This is a season, not forever. When you have bigger children they will be washing the pretty dishes for you and hanging the cloth napkins on your wash line, and making a chocolate cake for an afternoon tea party. Right now, you are busy keeping things sane so that you can get to that stage! : )


With each task you do, ask yourself, what can I do to make this easier? Ask your husband for advice. I know sometimes their suggestions are silly because they aren’t there 24/7 with the children but other times they have great logistic ideas because their brain somehow can see how to fix problems while we are all emotional about having the problem.


What can a 3yo do? Keep him by your side and talk to him all the time. Tell him what things are and why you are doing things. Keep his hands working in what you are doing. Give him little jobs to do right beside you. Demonstrate how to do things. Praise him for all the little helpful things he’s doing with you. Teach him when he is little that all the work we do is as unto the Lord. Talk to him about Jesus. Tell him why you love Him. Tell him how you are serving Him and how he is serving Him. Christianity is more than Sunday and more than reading Bible stories to our children, it is living Christ out in all of our actions. As parents we are to teach this as we go about our day in all of the seemingly insignificant tasks. That’s what the shema is:


4"Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God, the LORD is one. 5You shall love the LORD your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your might. 6And these words that I command you today shall be on your heart. 7You shall teach them diligently to your children, and shall talk of them when you sit in your house, and when you walk by the way, and when you lie down, and when you rise. 8You shall bind them as a sign on your hand, and they shall be as frontlets between your eyes. 9You shall write them on the doorposts of your house and on your gates.


To summarize:


Try to see what you can do to simplify, ask dh for ideas.


Use paper in the kitchen.


Box up clutter and toys. Sort it down the road.


Box up clothes and keep on top of the laundry.


Keep the children with you in whatever you are doing and teach them all the time.


Do whatever it takes to get sleep and adequate nutrition for you and your children.


Most importantly: Pray without ceasing.

 

In addition:

Keep your baby close to you. Hold that baby and nurture all the time. Get really in tune with each other.
AND
Stay. Home.
It is hard on the baby, it is physically hard on you, and it is one more stressor to the other children. stay home stay home stay home

stay home

If you feel the need to get out. Then sit on your back deck. With your baby.
And then if you feel the need to get out again. Sit on your front porch. With your baby.
And if you need some adult conversation...  invite your best friend who won't care that your house is a mess and will wash your dishes or fold your laundry or bring you a meal.

Now, there are some that attach times to that thought of staying home based on scripture and the sex of the baby. I believe there is wisdom in that, it did come from God's Word after all. Perhaps someone else can give the reference for it and the time periods. I want to say it's six and eight weeks and I can't recall which sex for which time period.
All that I can say is that, from my personal experience of learning everything the hard way, a new mom should stay home with her baby.